Kindergarten Cop

Kindergarten Cop is a 1990 film directed by Ivan Reitman.

Ahnuld Quotes for the Ages

 * Detective John Kimble: We're going to play a wonderful game called...”Who is my daddy and what does he do?"


 * Detective John Kimble: I'm a cop you idiot!

Detective John Kimble: Oh, excuse me. I forgot to introduce myself. My name is John Kimble... [racks shotgun] and I love my car!

Detective John Kimble: I have a headache. Lowell: It might be a tumor. Detective John Kimble: It's not a tumor!

Detective John Kimble: SHUUUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

[Girl shakes his head] Detective John Kimble: You mean you eat other people's lunches? [Girl nods] Detective John Kimble: STOP IT! [drops fat girl]
 * Detective John Kimble: [Holding fat girl in the air] Are these all your lunches?

Detective John Kimble: Stop whining! You kids are soft. You lack discipline. Well, I've got news for you. You are mine now. You belong to me.

Detective John Kimble: Stephen, take your toy back to the carpet and sit down. Stephen: I'm not a policeman, I'm a princess! Detective John Kimble: Take your toy back to the carpet! Stephen: [softly] I'm not policeman, I'm princess. Detective John Kimble: TAKE IT BACK!

Detective John Kimble: [to an insubordinate child] If you don't stop screwing around back there, this is what I'm gonna do with you [''he snaps pencil in two with his thumb. The kid sits back, wide-eyed'']

Detective John Kimble: You take over tomorrow. Phoebe O'Hara: And blow our cover? Can't do it. Detective John Kimble: They're horrible. They're like little terrorists.

Detective John Kimble: You should be reading stories about bears who go shopping!

Detective John Kimble: You hit a kid, I hit you.